Every night in households across
America, as children sleep peacefully in
their beds and husbands (usually) lounge
on the couch with a bag of chips and
watch television, women are tirelessly
working. There are clothes to be ironed,
next-day lunches to be made, lists to be
written, and doors to be locked.
Some men may command these roles, but
more often than not, the maternal figure
is tending to these responsibilities.
As the man moves from the couch to the
bed and waits on his lovely lady to join
him, she still isn't done. Night cream has
to be applied, chin hairs need to be
plucked and ashy knees and elbows need
to be lotioned.
Finally, after checking on the children and
the locked doors yet again, the woman
slips into her comfortable bed and heaves
a collective sigh of relief because no one
needs anything else from her today. She
can finally soak in the silence of the house
and rest.
But before she's even closed her eyes, he's
turned onto his side to face her. She
knows what he wants, what he needs (yes,
I said NEEDS). Although exhausted and
covered in various creams and lotions,
she's the one who is responsible in
the marriage for meeting his needs.
I'm sure I've already outraged women
everywhere with those few opening
paragraphs. I know what you are saying:
"This isn't 1950! Women aren't
submissive pieces of flesh whose only
purpose is to service a man! She doesn't
have to do ANYTHING before going to
sleep! He has a hand!"
Ladies, I hear you. Please take a moment
to calmly breathe, take another sip of
your coffee/wine and read on before you
congregate on my front lawn with
picketing signs.
I recently wrote an article, 5 Mistakes I
Make as a Wife (And You Probably Do,
Too) , and one of my faults is not making
time for my husband in the sexual
department. I received many positive
comments and emails regarding the
article, but it made some women
incredibly angry that I had the audacity to
insinuate that a woman should put her
husband's desires before her own.
Because, apparently, selfishness is a
horrible thing unless we are talking about
sex.
Sex isn't solely about you, woman. Let
that sink in. If you have a good man (as I
do) who values, loves, respects and
honors you in every way, then there is
absolutely nothing wrong in giving him
what only you can offer—even if you'd
rather sleep, watch television, pin recipes
or play Candy Crush.
Simply, it's called putting other's needs
before your own, and yes, I use the term
"needs" because that's exactly what they
are.
Sex is a real physical need for men that
women just don't have.
It's not my opinion. It's science.
Women do not have a biological drive for
sex. We want sex based on hormones that
fluctuate due to our reproductive cycle,
our emotions and the hypothalamus in
our delicate female brains. We just don't
need sex in the same way that our men
require it. This doesn't mean we are
completely lacking a libido or that
sex isn't a wonderful and
mandatory part of our lives. It simply
means that we don't have as much
testosterone as men (but just enough to
trigger the growth of that chin hair).
I didn't fully understand this until I heard
the following comparison:
When I was breastfeeding, I felt annoying
pain and discomfort when the milk built
up. I had to release it before I turned into
the Hulk and went on a rampage. This
need for release is quite similar to the
need that a man feels when he is chocked
full of semen. With sex, we don't have a
buildup that demands release. Men
certainly do.
Again, it's not just some crazy submissive
opinion. It's science.
I received some comments on my article
from women who stated that they
shouldn't be expected to service their
men multiple times a day just because
they "need" sex, and to that I say: you are
absolutely correct. Any man who misuses
his "need" and demands that his partner
roll over at his every command isn't
really a man but rather an egotistical sex-
crazed maniac that can take his needy a$$
to the bathroom and service himself.
As for the men who misuse their sexual
"need" by requesting to ravish you while
you suffer with a migraine or the flu, well,
they aren't real men, either. No good
husband would be more concerned with
his sexual needs than your needs to heal.
But we cannot continually deny our good,
loving, honorable, faithful men what they
physically require from us if we've vowed
to be the one to meet the requirement.
We cannot continually put our wants
before our husband's needs. We cannot
continually play the "Not tonight, honey,
I'm tired" card or deny them sex because
we aren't in the mood.
Who knows, maybe a little nookie would
help you sleep better anyway?
If you are blessed with a partner who
makes it a priority to meet your non-
sexual needs, then shouldn't you make it a
priority to meet his sexual ones?
Do unto others. It's not just some crazy
submissive opinion. It's the Golden Rule.
By Susannah B. Lewis
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