Call this a tale of two singles.
Richard and Tricia are from the
same ethnic group—Asian—but
have vastly different approaches
to love and dating.
"When I fill out forms and have to
check a box to identify ethnicity, I
always check 'Asian,'" Richard
said. "But honestly, I've always
considered myself a man, not an
'Asian man.' I've never thought of
myself as any different from the
next guy. I suppose that's because
my family has lived in this country
for generations, and my parents
never emphasized Asian roots or
culture. That just wasn't part of
my family life."
Then there's Tricia: "My Asian
heritage was—and is—a big part of
my immediate and extended
family. The foods, the holidays,
the culture—all were a crucial part
of my upbringing. And I'm glad.
The customs and traditions that
have been passed down make me
who I am, and I'm proud of that."
As you might imagine, Richard is
open to dating Asian women or
quality ladies from any ethnic
group. For Tricia, finding someone
who shares her love of Asian
culture—indeed someone who is
Asian—is critical. It's a choice she
made early on: "That cultural
identity is so vital to me, it's at the
top of the list for the man I
eventually marry."
If you are Asian, where do
you stand on this dating
issue? Is dating someone
who is also Asian
important to you, not at
all important, or
somewhere in between?
To help you become clear,
consider these three
questions in regards to
Asian dating:
Have you determined in
advance what you want? The
time to think through significant
issues is before you're confronted
with them. If you traveled to a
large city, you would get clear
directions to your exact
destination so you don't end up in
an unsafe area. You would plan
ahead. The same goes for dating. If
holding to your Asian values is
important to you, take time to
identify them before you start
dating. Fortify them in advance
with your firm intentions.
How important are Asian
culture and customs to you?
For many people, their ethnicity
shapes what they cherish, the way
they relate to others, and how
they respond to life's challenges.
For instance, if you plan to start a
family, consider that the arrival of
children prompts a whole host of
culture-based decisions: the
traditions you will pass down, the
rituals you will observe, the values
you will instill. It is wise to have
your eyes wide open to the
implications of facing all of life's
ups and downs with a partner who
may not share cultural aspects
dear to you.
Do you know what else you're
looking for? Finding someone
within your ethnic group may be a
top priority for you—but it certain
isn't the only priority. How will
you know who is a perfect fit and
who isn't if you are unclear about
the other qualities critical to you?
Make a top-ten list of the things
you must have in a new partner
and a top-ten list of things you
couldn't stand. Finding the love of
your life means finding someone
who is the "whole package," a
wonderful match in all the
essential areas.
A successful love life, for Asian
people as for everyone, depends
largely on the compatibility and
shared values of the two
individuals involved. Be clear
about your ideals and convictions,
then hold out for a partner who
will support you in all of those.
www.josiahdele.blogspot.com
Richard and Tricia are from the
same ethnic group—Asian—but
have vastly different approaches
to love and dating.
"When I fill out forms and have to
check a box to identify ethnicity, I
always check 'Asian,'" Richard
said. "But honestly, I've always
considered myself a man, not an
'Asian man.' I've never thought of
myself as any different from the
next guy. I suppose that's because
my family has lived in this country
for generations, and my parents
never emphasized Asian roots or
culture. That just wasn't part of
my family life."
Then there's Tricia: "My Asian
heritage was—and is—a big part of
my immediate and extended
family. The foods, the holidays,
the culture—all were a crucial part
of my upbringing. And I'm glad.
The customs and traditions that
have been passed down make me
who I am, and I'm proud of that."
As you might imagine, Richard is
open to dating Asian women or
quality ladies from any ethnic
group. For Tricia, finding someone
who shares her love of Asian
culture—indeed someone who is
Asian—is critical. It's a choice she
made early on: "That cultural
identity is so vital to me, it's at the
top of the list for the man I
eventually marry."
If you are Asian, where do
you stand on this dating
issue? Is dating someone
who is also Asian
important to you, not at
all important, or
somewhere in between?
To help you become clear,
consider these three
questions in regards to
Asian dating:
Have you determined in
advance what you want? The
time to think through significant
issues is before you're confronted
with them. If you traveled to a
large city, you would get clear
directions to your exact
destination so you don't end up in
an unsafe area. You would plan
ahead. The same goes for dating. If
holding to your Asian values is
important to you, take time to
identify them before you start
dating. Fortify them in advance
with your firm intentions.
How important are Asian
culture and customs to you?
For many people, their ethnicity
shapes what they cherish, the way
they relate to others, and how
they respond to life's challenges.
For instance, if you plan to start a
family, consider that the arrival of
children prompts a whole host of
culture-based decisions: the
traditions you will pass down, the
rituals you will observe, the values
you will instill. It is wise to have
your eyes wide open to the
implications of facing all of life's
ups and downs with a partner who
may not share cultural aspects
dear to you.
Do you know what else you're
looking for? Finding someone
within your ethnic group may be a
top priority for you—but it certain
isn't the only priority. How will
you know who is a perfect fit and
who isn't if you are unclear about
the other qualities critical to you?
Make a top-ten list of the things
you must have in a new partner
and a top-ten list of things you
couldn't stand. Finding the love of
your life means finding someone
who is the "whole package," a
wonderful match in all the
essential areas.
A successful love life, for Asian
people as for everyone, depends
largely on the compatibility and
shared values of the two
individuals involved. Be clear
about your ideals and convictions,
then hold out for a partner who
will support you in all of those.
www.josiahdele.blogspot.com
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