Different ages, genders and races. It
doesn't matter if you're age is 16 or 60, if
you are male or female, gay or straight,
a broken heart feels the same to
everyone. I have been there too. There
are quite prominent moments where it
truly feels like we could never, and we
would never find love nor want to find
love again. Why would we? It hurts too
much. Why would we ever want to put
ourselves through that again, for one, and
second, we will never find someone like
he/she anyway, so what would be the
point?
But almost just as predictably as night
turns into day, our feelings do also change
and alas the day comes when we see the
light at the end of the tunnel, daylight for
the first time, and we do get over that
breakup, we do get over our feelings of
sadness, anger and remorse towards our
old love, and many of us do quite actually
move on. But, try telling this to someone
in the throes of a heartbreak, though, it's
quite difficult to hear.
So, since reasoning doesn't work, as it
didn't with me either, I came up with a
few things, some real die hard remedies
for those in the throes of a breakup, that I
found worked wonders. If you are finding
that you are feeling anxious, scared, sad
or insecure then these steps are for you:
1. Remember to love your ex as
though he or she is your good
friend. It's easy to fall into the rut of
anger and wishing ill will onto your ex,
but the only person this really hurts is
yourself. It's true going through some
feelings of anger does serve a purpose in
that it is part of the process of getting
over someone. You need to feel all the
emotions. But falling into a rut of one
thing or another, meaning sadness or
anger that persists over a longer period of
time does you more harm than good. Stop
punishing you ex. Instead, try wishing
them the best luck in life. Try to be happy
for them. Wish them happiness in success
in whatever it is they are doing, and in
their lives. Send them love.
2. Remember that everyone has a
different path in life. You and your ex
came together because there was an
attraction, perhaps a common interest, or
common goals. But this does not mean,
that you and your partner must stay
together forever. Think about the lessons
you have learned from the relationship.
Think about the differences that came up
that brought the two of you to the
impasse that lead to the breakup.
Everything does happen for a reason, or
this is a blessing in disguise, however you
decide to look at it, the truth of the
matter is that this is a big learning lesson
for you and if utilized will provide a giant
leap in terms of personal growth.
3. Take a closer look at yourself. In
the end you need to nourish yourself,
before someone else can. You are in
charge and are the creator of having an
amazing great life, something you had
before your partner. Sure your partner
was the icing on the cake but only because
of your own greatness you already
endeavor to be. Instead of allowing
yourself to go down a path of self
destruction and self hate, why not remind
yourself, in fact go ahead, make a list of
all the great qualities you possess, that
not only make you a great partner, but a
great individual as well. Post it on your
refrigerator or by your desk, somewhere
you are sure to see it everyday, or as
often as needed.
Again, I am not suggesting you should
repress your feelings of anger, sadness,
guilt or any other emotions. A breakup is
real, and mourning the loss of the
relationship is definitely needed to move
on, so do accept and feel your feelings.
But, also remember that wallowing in
that anger, sadness or self pity can be
destructive for you and no one else, so
when you can, do muster up the strength
repeat these 3 steps above as often as
needed.
To connect with Mou, please visit
www.LASexTherapist.com.
doesn't matter if you're age is 16 or 60, if
you are male or female, gay or straight,
a broken heart feels the same to
everyone. I have been there too. There
are quite prominent moments where it
truly feels like we could never, and we
would never find love nor want to find
love again. Why would we? It hurts too
much. Why would we ever want to put
ourselves through that again, for one, and
second, we will never find someone like
he/she anyway, so what would be the
point?
But almost just as predictably as night
turns into day, our feelings do also change
and alas the day comes when we see the
light at the end of the tunnel, daylight for
the first time, and we do get over that
breakup, we do get over our feelings of
sadness, anger and remorse towards our
old love, and many of us do quite actually
move on. But, try telling this to someone
in the throes of a heartbreak, though, it's
quite difficult to hear.
So, since reasoning doesn't work, as it
didn't with me either, I came up with a
few things, some real die hard remedies
for those in the throes of a breakup, that I
found worked wonders. If you are finding
that you are feeling anxious, scared, sad
or insecure then these steps are for you:
1. Remember to love your ex as
though he or she is your good
friend. It's easy to fall into the rut of
anger and wishing ill will onto your ex,
but the only person this really hurts is
yourself. It's true going through some
feelings of anger does serve a purpose in
that it is part of the process of getting
over someone. You need to feel all the
emotions. But falling into a rut of one
thing or another, meaning sadness or
anger that persists over a longer period of
time does you more harm than good. Stop
punishing you ex. Instead, try wishing
them the best luck in life. Try to be happy
for them. Wish them happiness in success
in whatever it is they are doing, and in
their lives. Send them love.
2. Remember that everyone has a
different path in life. You and your ex
came together because there was an
attraction, perhaps a common interest, or
common goals. But this does not mean,
that you and your partner must stay
together forever. Think about the lessons
you have learned from the relationship.
Think about the differences that came up
that brought the two of you to the
impasse that lead to the breakup.
Everything does happen for a reason, or
this is a blessing in disguise, however you
decide to look at it, the truth of the
matter is that this is a big learning lesson
for you and if utilized will provide a giant
leap in terms of personal growth.
3. Take a closer look at yourself. In
the end you need to nourish yourself,
before someone else can. You are in
charge and are the creator of having an
amazing great life, something you had
before your partner. Sure your partner
was the icing on the cake but only because
of your own greatness you already
endeavor to be. Instead of allowing
yourself to go down a path of self
destruction and self hate, why not remind
yourself, in fact go ahead, make a list of
all the great qualities you possess, that
not only make you a great partner, but a
great individual as well. Post it on your
refrigerator or by your desk, somewhere
you are sure to see it everyday, or as
often as needed.
Again, I am not suggesting you should
repress your feelings of anger, sadness,
guilt or any other emotions. A breakup is
real, and mourning the loss of the
relationship is definitely needed to move
on, so do accept and feel your feelings.
But, also remember that wallowing in
that anger, sadness or self pity can be
destructive for you and no one else, so
when you can, do muster up the strength
repeat these 3 steps above as often as
needed.
To connect with Mou, please visit
www.LASexTherapist.com.
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