Good communication is a fundamental
part of a healthy relationship. When
people stop communicating well, they
stop relating well, and times of change
or stress can really bring out disconnect.
As long as you are communicating, you
can work through whatever problem
you're facing.
Learn your partner's emotional
cues
Each of us is a little different in how we
best receive information. Some people
might respond better to sight, sound, or
touch. Your partner's responses may be
different from yours. Take some time to
learn your partner's cues, and be sure to
communicate your own as well. For
example, one person might find a brief
massage after a stressful day a loving
mode of communication—while another
might just want to talk over a hot cup of
tea.
So much of our communication is
transmitted by what we don't say.
Non verbal cues—such as eye contact,
leaning forward or away, or touching
someone's arm—communicate much
more than words. For a relationship to
work well, each person has to be
receptive to sending and receiving
non verbal cues. Learning to understand
this "body language" can help you better
understand what your partner is trying
to say. Think about what you are
transmitting as well, and if what you say
matches what you feel. If you say "I'm
fine," but you clench your teeth and look
away, then your body is clearly signaling
you are not.
Question your assumptions
If you've known each other for a while,
you may assume that your partner has a
pretty good idea of what you are
thinking and what you need. However,
your partner is not a mind reader. While
your partner may have some idea, it is
much healthier to directly express your
needs to avoid any confusion. Your
partner may sense something, but it
might not be what you need. What's
more, people change, and what you
needed and wanted five years ago, for
example, may be very different now.
Getting in the habit of expressing your
needs helps you weather difficult times,
which otherwise may lead to increasing
resentment, misunderstanding, and
anger.
Use your senses to keep stress in
check
If you're not calm and focused, you
won't be able to communicate
effectively. The best way to reduce
stress quickly and reliably is through
the senses. But each person responds
differently to sensory input, so you need
to find things that are soothing to you.
www.josiahdele.blogspot.com
part of a healthy relationship. When
people stop communicating well, they
stop relating well, and times of change
or stress can really bring out disconnect.
As long as you are communicating, you
can work through whatever problem
you're facing.
Learn your partner's emotional
cues
Each of us is a little different in how we
best receive information. Some people
might respond better to sight, sound, or
touch. Your partner's responses may be
different from yours. Take some time to
learn your partner's cues, and be sure to
communicate your own as well. For
example, one person might find a brief
massage after a stressful day a loving
mode of communication—while another
might just want to talk over a hot cup of
tea.
So much of our communication is
transmitted by what we don't say.
Non verbal cues—such as eye contact,
leaning forward or away, or touching
someone's arm—communicate much
more than words. For a relationship to
work well, each person has to be
receptive to sending and receiving
non verbal cues. Learning to understand
this "body language" can help you better
understand what your partner is trying
to say. Think about what you are
transmitting as well, and if what you say
matches what you feel. If you say "I'm
fine," but you clench your teeth and look
away, then your body is clearly signaling
you are not.
Question your assumptions
If you've known each other for a while,
you may assume that your partner has a
pretty good idea of what you are
thinking and what you need. However,
your partner is not a mind reader. While
your partner may have some idea, it is
much healthier to directly express your
needs to avoid any confusion. Your
partner may sense something, but it
might not be what you need. What's
more, people change, and what you
needed and wanted five years ago, for
example, may be very different now.
Getting in the habit of expressing your
needs helps you weather difficult times,
which otherwise may lead to increasing
resentment, misunderstanding, and
anger.
Use your senses to keep stress in
check
If you're not calm and focused, you
won't be able to communicate
effectively. The best way to reduce
stress quickly and reliably is through
the senses. But each person responds
differently to sensory input, so you need
to find things that are soothing to you.
www.josiahdele.blogspot.com
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