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No, Dads AREN'T Complete Idiots (So Give 'Em A Break!)

Raising kids isn't a mom's work —
it's family work.
I've never been one to talk much about
the dads on my blog because honestly,
they aren't my focus on this lovely little
space of mine on the Internet world but
lately, I've found myself increasingly
more and more aggravated with people
and commercials that make men,
specifically fathers, out to be complete
imbeciles who can barely take care of
themselves let alone their children (Lysol
is the *worst* offender of this for which
they will probably lose my business).
You know, enough already.
I know that for companies like Lysol,
their target is the moms because
supposedly, moms rule the roost. I get it.
However, what I'll never understand for
the life of me is why they feel the need to
make the dads out to be fumbling, goofy,
idiots.
You know the commercials I'm talking
about. Mom comes home from a leisurely
afternoon of shopping only to find the
house destroyed, dinner bubbling over on
the stove and exploding all over the
kitchen and dad is standing in the living
room hanging onto his kid upside down
(barely) by the diaper.
You guys want to know who taught me
how to change a diaper, mix formula and
feed a baby? This man right here – my
DAD.
Growing up, I watched my father raise
three girls. 3 GIRLS. How the man is still
alive, in one piece and has managed to
keep all of his natural hair is beyond me.
And all those things that are supposed to
be "women's work" in raising kids? Get
out of here.
Growing up in our home, you could find
my father doing one, or all, of the
following on any given day of the week:
Brushing hair up into ponytails
Changing diapers
Playing dress up and having tea parties
Shuttling the girls to and from dance
classes
Diffusing hormonal meltdowns
Delicately dealing with Aunt Flo issues
He's pretty damn good at this whole
father thing even though, GASP! He has a
penis and by most standards, is supposed
to be an idiot. Imagine that!
To be even more blunt, he was probably a
far better parent to us girls growing up
than a lot of women we knew. He was
calm, less emotional and far more
rational. He was a conscientious father.
One who felt confident in his abilities and
didn't feel the need to second guess
himself or question everything to death
like women can do (sorry not sorry
ladies. It's the truth).
Want to know who else is rocking
parenthood? This MAN right here. My
baby daddy...
This man works 40 – 50 hours a week,
has completed and earned not one but
TWO Master's degrees, has two paying
freelance writing gigs, is preparing to go
to school again this summer and is raising
our daughter and doing an amazing job if
I do say so myself. He is all hands on deck
and jumps right in to deal with our little
Chickie.
Actually, truth be told, he complains a lot
less about the tedious things than I do
and nine times out of ten, he's the first
one to get up in the middle of the night
when Chickie wakes up.
Cooking? He has a culinary degree. Done.
Laundry? It's always washed, folded and
put away.
Potty training? He's right there on the
front lines dealing with the shit {literally}
right along with me.
Grocery shopping? On lock.
Boo-Boo fixer? He puts on the best band-
aides and always makes sure Chickie has
her favorite brands.
Dressing a little girl? All done and all
coordinated, complete with bow.
Imagine that. You can have a
penis and still parent!
I know the "norm" is typically women
handling these types of things and staying
home with the kids while dad goes out
and earns the money but the reality is
that this just isn't how the world runs
anymore. Dads are increasingly staying
home with their children while mommy
goes out into the working world to make
the bacon.
Raising children is no longer just
"women's work." It's family work,
meaning dads today are playing a larger
role than ever in raising their children.
They are doing more, if not in some cases,
all of the things that are considered
domestic responsibilities for women.
And thank GOD for that. Why wouldn't
we want our men involved in the
parenting process?
From the day we brought Chickie home
from the hospital Michael and I both
agreed that we were in this together. We
share all the joys, the challenges, the
good, the bad, the rewards, and
sometimes the setbacks of being parents
and I'm so grateful for that. I'm so
incredibly grateful for my own father and
the father of my child who recognized
within themselves that raising children
just isn't women's work. It's family work.
And news flash! The men are just as
capable of taking care of the kids as
women are.
I'm grateful that the fathers in my life
knew within themselves that while the
role of being a dad may be challenging,
they could do it and jumped right in to
tackle the challenge. I get so tired of
hearing women say, "Men have a harder
time with kids because they aren't natural
nurturers like we are."
Horse crap.
That's such tired, worn out babble that I
don't even know how to process anymore
at this point in my life.
Women don't own the franchise and
rights on raising and taking care of kids.
Just because I have boobs and a vagina, it
doesn't mean that I'm supposed to be the
one with "natural" mothering, parenting
instincts and abilities. No one, regardless
of anatomy, is born knowing how to take
care of children or how to be a parent.
We're all in the same boat on that one.
We're all learning every day, how to be
the best parents we can be while taking
care of, and raising our children. No one
has cornered the market on perfection
where child rearing is concerned.
Men, wear your badge of father with
pride. Thank you for holding it down in
your homes and with your children but
most importantly, thank you for your
penis. Without it, none of us would be
possible.

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