* If s/he shows up at your door
after you've broken it off, don't
open it if you're home alone. Make
sure someone else is with you if
you do decide to talk to him or her
(not recommended), but even
though you want to be
compassionate, the best and
easiest approach is to simply cut
off contact.
* Compassion is not easily
understood or accepted by these
folks, and it just hurts you both
more in the end as it is likely to be
used as a weapon against you.
Cutting them off may seem cruel,
but it ends the confrontations and
forces them to move on or get
help.
* Watch for stalking or
menacing behaviors or threats,
including threats to harm you or
your supporters, or to commit
suicide. Don't rely on your own
judgment to determine whether
threats are serious. Report them
to the police immediately. This
person is probably just difficult
and not dangerous, but don't take
any chances. If necessary, get a
restraining order and call the cops
each and every time it's violated.
* While it is preferable that
marriages involving kids be
worked out, in many cases, a
controlling manipulator is not
amenable to marriage or family
counseling. If your partner is not
willing to commit to counseling,
then separation may be the only
answer. Without family
counseling, the manipulative,
controlling partner will damage
the children, and you will spawn
more of the same type of person.
* Couples counseling or
marriage counseling may not be a
safe place for you to talk about
any abuse you are enduring, with
the abuser sitting right next to you
during a session. You need
individual supportive counseling
that is often available for free at
your local domestic violence
agency. They can connect you to an
agency close by.
Article provided by wikiHow, a
wiki building the world's largest,
highest quality how-to manual.
Please edit this article and find
author credits at the original
wikiHow article on " How to
Recognize a Manipulative or
Controlling Relationship ".
Content on wikiHow can be
shared under Creative Commons
License.
www.josiahdele.blogspot.com
after you've broken it off, don't
open it if you're home alone. Make
sure someone else is with you if
you do decide to talk to him or her
(not recommended), but even
though you want to be
compassionate, the best and
easiest approach is to simply cut
off contact.
* Compassion is not easily
understood or accepted by these
folks, and it just hurts you both
more in the end as it is likely to be
used as a weapon against you.
Cutting them off may seem cruel,
but it ends the confrontations and
forces them to move on or get
help.
* Watch for stalking or
menacing behaviors or threats,
including threats to harm you or
your supporters, or to commit
suicide. Don't rely on your own
judgment to determine whether
threats are serious. Report them
to the police immediately. This
person is probably just difficult
and not dangerous, but don't take
any chances. If necessary, get a
restraining order and call the cops
each and every time it's violated.
* While it is preferable that
marriages involving kids be
worked out, in many cases, a
controlling manipulator is not
amenable to marriage or family
counseling. If your partner is not
willing to commit to counseling,
then separation may be the only
answer. Without family
counseling, the manipulative,
controlling partner will damage
the children, and you will spawn
more of the same type of person.
* Couples counseling or
marriage counseling may not be a
safe place for you to talk about
any abuse you are enduring, with
the abuser sitting right next to you
during a session. You need
individual supportive counseling
that is often available for free at
your local domestic violence
agency. They can connect you to an
agency close by.
Article provided by wikiHow, a
wiki building the world's largest,
highest quality how-to manual.
Please edit this article and find
author credits at the original
wikiHow article on " How to
Recognize a Manipulative or
Controlling Relationship ".
Content on wikiHow can be
shared under Creative Commons
License.
www.josiahdele.blogspot.com
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