It's a blessing in disguise.
We've all been there. You're conversing
over cocktails after ending your
relationship with Mr. So Very Wrong,
and boom — your bestie puts down her
mojito and hits you with the painful line
no one ever wants to hear.
"There were signs when you were dating,"
she says. Annoying? Yes. True? Well, yes.
So, in honor of both your love life and
your friendships, I'm laying out twenty
early signs that it's time to say goodbye.
Consider it the ultimate tear sheet for
Tinder.
1. He acts like a pen pal.
Whether fueled by a busy schedule, a
need to collect admirer or general
laziness, if you have texted 150 times and
met up 0, it's time to set a date (and keep
it) or delete his number.
2. He's Mr. Critical.
This is the guy who really likes you, but
would like you so much better if you
made this tweak, and that tweak, oh, and
that one, too. Bye!
3. He's a self-confessed playboy.
When a man tells you he is only in it for
"fun," please, please believe him. If you
want a fling, be safe and go for it, but
don't be the woman who wastes her time
trying to change his mind. No, no, no!
4. He refuses to be tested before sex.
Red. Flag.
5. He's a porn junkie.
Looking at porn doesn't make you an
addict, but needing to reenact those
videos in order to finish every time is a
huge red flag.
6. He makes misogynist remarks.
If a man is suspect and shows disdain for
the female gender as a whole, but sees
you as the exception, run!
7. He's a flake.
It's pretty easy to make a plan and keep it
95% percent of the time. If he has that
many "emergencies," he's either a liar, a
flake, or your life with him is going to be
chaotic.
8. He's a self-proclaimed martyr.
Thank GOD his boss/family/friends/
society has him, otherwise, the whole
structure of the world would fall apart.
He doesn't mind, it's just ... he's so tired ...
9. He's a drama king.
From screaming in traffic to storming off
in the middle of dinner, this is the man
who blows up on a whim and leaves those
around him picking up the pieces. In
relationships, you'll likely spend a few
days "making" up every few weeks. It's
time to leave the beating-the-door-in-
the-rain guys behind.
10. He pushes your boundaries.
You tell him you're afraid of heights and
he begs you to go sky diving. You mention
you're uncomfortable with first-date
kissing and he shoves his tongue in your
mouth. You insist on a condom, he
whines.
11. He's a member of a secret
society.
If you've been dating over six weeks and
have not met any of his friends, you can
pretty much bet that no one knows you
exist — no matter what he says.
12. He's a control freak.
It may seem sweet when he texts you
every night to see where you are,
attentive when he says you'd look nice
with a certain hairstyle, and romantic
when he gently asks the waiter to dim the
lights at the restaurant. But as time
passes, you'll notice that you're being
asked not to go out, to change your looks,
and walking on eggshells to keep his
environment "just so."
13. He insults your intelligence.
Directly or indirectly. Bye!
14. He's a Peter Pan:
A man who is 35 acting out his 15-year-
old fantasies does not make a solid
partner, no matter how sexy or good the
sex is.
15. He's a mama's boy.
A man who loves and respects his
mother? Awesome. A man who still has
his mother folding his underwear? Awful.
16. He "doesn't know what he
wants."
No, he doesn't want you and wants to
date/sleep with others. #GuyDecoded,
move on.
17. He wants to be "single for
summer."
At 21, it's forgivable; At 40? Pathetic.
18. He's a sexting stranger.
Some people are down with the d*ck
picks, but if a man you've never met is
sending you sexts, you can be sure he's
not going to be sweeping you off your feet
or taking you to brunch.
19. He lacks empathy.
You tell him a story that would normally
elicit a sympathetic reaction or mention
that he's hurt you in some way, and he
responds in an unfeeling (or worse,
angry) manner. Lookout. Not all episodes
are created equal, but if this happens a lot
you could be dealing with a narcissist.
20. He's irresponsible.
Is he always late, forgetting to keep
promises, and always complaining about
some kind of "mix up"? Perhaps he's
fighting with his landlord or arguing with
his credit card company. Consider this
proof he doesn't have his sh*t together
and find yourself a grown up.
12 Unmistakable Signs That He's "The
One"
We've all been there. You're conversing
over cocktails after ending your
relationship with Mr. So Very Wrong,
and boom — your bestie puts down her
mojito and hits you with the painful line
no one ever wants to hear.
"There were signs when you were dating,"
she says. Annoying? Yes. True? Well, yes.
So, in honor of both your love life and
your friendships, I'm laying out twenty
early signs that it's time to say goodbye.
Consider it the ultimate tear sheet for
Tinder.
1. He acts like a pen pal.
Whether fueled by a busy schedule, a
need to collect admirer or general
laziness, if you have texted 150 times and
met up 0, it's time to set a date (and keep
it) or delete his number.
2. He's Mr. Critical.
This is the guy who really likes you, but
would like you so much better if you
made this tweak, and that tweak, oh, and
that one, too. Bye!
3. He's a self-confessed playboy.
When a man tells you he is only in it for
"fun," please, please believe him. If you
want a fling, be safe and go for it, but
don't be the woman who wastes her time
trying to change his mind. No, no, no!
4. He refuses to be tested before sex.
Red. Flag.
5. He's a porn junkie.
Looking at porn doesn't make you an
addict, but needing to reenact those
videos in order to finish every time is a
huge red flag.
6. He makes misogynist remarks.
If a man is suspect and shows disdain for
the female gender as a whole, but sees
you as the exception, run!
7. He's a flake.
It's pretty easy to make a plan and keep it
95% percent of the time. If he has that
many "emergencies," he's either a liar, a
flake, or your life with him is going to be
chaotic.
8. He's a self-proclaimed martyr.
Thank GOD his boss/family/friends/
society has him, otherwise, the whole
structure of the world would fall apart.
He doesn't mind, it's just ... he's so tired ...
9. He's a drama king.
From screaming in traffic to storming off
in the middle of dinner, this is the man
who blows up on a whim and leaves those
around him picking up the pieces. In
relationships, you'll likely spend a few
days "making" up every few weeks. It's
time to leave the beating-the-door-in-
the-rain guys behind.
10. He pushes your boundaries.
You tell him you're afraid of heights and
he begs you to go sky diving. You mention
you're uncomfortable with first-date
kissing and he shoves his tongue in your
mouth. You insist on a condom, he
whines.
11. He's a member of a secret
society.
If you've been dating over six weeks and
have not met any of his friends, you can
pretty much bet that no one knows you
exist — no matter what he says.
12. He's a control freak.
It may seem sweet when he texts you
every night to see where you are,
attentive when he says you'd look nice
with a certain hairstyle, and romantic
when he gently asks the waiter to dim the
lights at the restaurant. But as time
passes, you'll notice that you're being
asked not to go out, to change your looks,
and walking on eggshells to keep his
environment "just so."
13. He insults your intelligence.
Directly or indirectly. Bye!
14. He's a Peter Pan:
A man who is 35 acting out his 15-year-
old fantasies does not make a solid
partner, no matter how sexy or good the
sex is.
15. He's a mama's boy.
A man who loves and respects his
mother? Awesome. A man who still has
his mother folding his underwear? Awful.
16. He "doesn't know what he
wants."
No, he doesn't want you and wants to
date/sleep with others. #GuyDecoded,
move on.
17. He wants to be "single for
summer."
At 21, it's forgivable; At 40? Pathetic.
18. He's a sexting stranger.
Some people are down with the d*ck
picks, but if a man you've never met is
sending you sexts, you can be sure he's
not going to be sweeping you off your feet
or taking you to brunch.
19. He lacks empathy.
You tell him a story that would normally
elicit a sympathetic reaction or mention
that he's hurt you in some way, and he
responds in an unfeeling (or worse,
angry) manner. Lookout. Not all episodes
are created equal, but if this happens a lot
you could be dealing with a narcissist.
20. He's irresponsible.
Is he always late, forgetting to keep
promises, and always complaining about
some kind of "mix up"? Perhaps he's
fighting with his landlord or arguing with
his credit card company. Consider this
proof he doesn't have his sh*t together
and find yourself a grown up.
12 Unmistakable Signs That He's "The
One"
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