Doing the dirty for 30 days in a row?
Challenge ACCEPTED.
I've often been one of those creepy silent
lurkers who clicks on those "I had sex
every day for a year!" articles, like the
original by the ever-fabulous Brittany
Gibbons.
I've read them and gawked at them,and
basically thought all of those women were
1) attention hungry 2) crazy, and 3)
obviously more brave than I (hello,
cramps and a certain monthly visitor).
When I decided to stop being a lurker and
take on a challenge to have sex with my
husband every day for 30 days, I learned a
lot more than I thought I would.
1. I'm totally insecure.
Holy crap, do I have some major body
issues. Granted, my youngest child is only
9 months old and I'm actually still
breastfeeding, so maybe I have a little
leeway in this department but I was
genuinely shocked by how uncomfortable
I was in my own skin trying to get busy
with him. Every. Single. Day.
I ran away, I hid my stomach, I protested,
and I called myself fat — I did anything I
could think of to actually not be naked. It
was a real eye-opener to me to realize
just how distorted my own body image
had become from having kids, and to see
the very real effect that had on our sex
life.
2. Exercising makes me feel sexy.
With the realization that I need to feel
comfortable with my body again, I got
majorly into exercising last month and
discovered that I love working out.
Taking the time to fit in a daily work out
inspires me to eat better, take care of
myself in other small ways, and it has the
added bonus of giving me more energy.
All that in combination with some actual
pounds lost equals a sexier me.
3. It's so important to get in the
mood before having sex.
I admit that there were a few days when I
just didn't feel like doing anything
remotely intimate, but I thought, well,
maybe I could just do it and get it over
with it. Or, maybe once we get going, it
will be great. Truthfully, it never worked
for me.
I realized that the lead-up — flirting with
my husband, talking, and just being
intimate in other ways — is super
important to me before any physical
intimacy happens.
4. Kids really do f*ck up your sex
life .
Say what you want about how parents
shouldn't let kids cramp their style, that
it's possible to have a great and healthy
sex life with little people underfoot, and
that moms are sexier than ever. But the
truth is, sometimes kids get sick, no one
sleeps, the bed is overtaken, and you have
no desire for anything but getting a little
shut-eye.
No reason to beat yourself up about it.
(Let this be the spoiler alert: we failed,
OK?)
5. Spontaneity can be fun.
That being said, this little experiment
also taught me that there is a lot of merit
in breaking out of the rut and trying to
find more opportunities for each other. I
wouldn't go so far as to say I'm going to
start sticking sex into my calendar, but I
did learn that when you make it a priority
and have fun with it, only good things can
happen.
Challenge ACCEPTED.
I've often been one of those creepy silent
lurkers who clicks on those "I had sex
every day for a year!" articles, like the
original by the ever-fabulous Brittany
Gibbons.
I've read them and gawked at them,and
basically thought all of those women were
1) attention hungry 2) crazy, and 3)
obviously more brave than I (hello,
cramps and a certain monthly visitor).
When I decided to stop being a lurker and
take on a challenge to have sex with my
husband every day for 30 days, I learned a
lot more than I thought I would.
1. I'm totally insecure.
Holy crap, do I have some major body
issues. Granted, my youngest child is only
9 months old and I'm actually still
breastfeeding, so maybe I have a little
leeway in this department but I was
genuinely shocked by how uncomfortable
I was in my own skin trying to get busy
with him. Every. Single. Day.
I ran away, I hid my stomach, I protested,
and I called myself fat — I did anything I
could think of to actually not be naked. It
was a real eye-opener to me to realize
just how distorted my own body image
had become from having kids, and to see
the very real effect that had on our sex
life.
2. Exercising makes me feel sexy.
With the realization that I need to feel
comfortable with my body again, I got
majorly into exercising last month and
discovered that I love working out.
Taking the time to fit in a daily work out
inspires me to eat better, take care of
myself in other small ways, and it has the
added bonus of giving me more energy.
All that in combination with some actual
pounds lost equals a sexier me.
3. It's so important to get in the
mood before having sex.
I admit that there were a few days when I
just didn't feel like doing anything
remotely intimate, but I thought, well,
maybe I could just do it and get it over
with it. Or, maybe once we get going, it
will be great. Truthfully, it never worked
for me.
I realized that the lead-up — flirting with
my husband, talking, and just being
intimate in other ways — is super
important to me before any physical
intimacy happens.
4. Kids really do f*ck up your sex
life .
Say what you want about how parents
shouldn't let kids cramp their style, that
it's possible to have a great and healthy
sex life with little people underfoot, and
that moms are sexier than ever. But the
truth is, sometimes kids get sick, no one
sleeps, the bed is overtaken, and you have
no desire for anything but getting a little
shut-eye.
No reason to beat yourself up about it.
(Let this be the spoiler alert: we failed,
OK?)
5. Spontaneity can be fun.
That being said, this little experiment
also taught me that there is a lot of merit
in breaking out of the rut and trying to
find more opportunities for each other. I
wouldn't go so far as to say I'm going to
start sticking sex into my calendar, but I
did learn that when you make it a priority
and have fun with it, only good things can
happen.
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