For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed. Either way, his humour was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liners' from the man who was known for his clean humour. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ....
3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburettor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humour didn't have to start with a four-letter word.
It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programmes with the words,
"And May God Bless",with a big smile on his face.
Humour? Hope you enjoyed it. Please don't forget to share with your friends and loved ones.
www.articlesbeam.com
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ....
3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburettor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humour didn't have to start with a four-letter word.
It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programmes with the words,
"And May God Bless",with a big smile on his face.
Humour? Hope you enjoyed it. Please don't forget to share with your friends and loved ones.
www.articlesbeam.com
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