Let us say that Chand is a belligerent employee. His supervisor, Tim; acts in a very professional manner. Tim tries to reason with Chand. Tim does not act bossy with his subordinate because Tim is aware of the repercussions in his job.
Nevertheless, that performance of Tim to look professional has its own return.
Tim feels rejection towards Chand s behavior. Tim is sick and tired of Chand s attitude. Tim is building a case to dismiss Chand, but in the meantime he feels that there is a lot to put up with.
The performance of being a professional is eating up the insides of Tim. If it wasn t because of the work setting, Tim would tell Chand many things that he is currently repressing.
This venom is creating havoc in Tim s health.
If Tim could realize that this interaction is just a game in the workplace, Tim could then realize that Chand has personally nothing against him. It is all about the position that Tim represents to Chand in the organization. The hierarchy.
To act as a professional is good, but that external action needs to go with feeling like a professional. If Tim only acts but does not feel, then that contradiction within will create issues in his well being.
This is the importance of observation. Many times our activities look in one way, but the feelings behind it demonstrate a different ideal; then our thoughts will be inconsistent: Tim was very professional in telling his own supervisor that he didn t have anything against Chand; but when Tim went home . His wife was his wastebasket for all the things that Tim s anger wanted to express but couldn t.
The above behavior could be labeled as normal, but truly it is the behavior of someone who is not consistent in his words, feelings and deeds. That person is being irrational.
A crazy individual.
When our activities are aligned in the same direction, so our feelings and thinking are the same with our activities; then in that congruence we could feel at ease, light and at peace.
If Tim decided to respond back to his subordinate and let loose all of his repressed emotions, then; that action will have a reaction.
Chand may respond aggressively. If Chand does not; then Chand will repress that energy in that moment and look for a way to express it.
Tim may not be the person to get the initial response, but sooner or later he will, for his action will come back to him.
That is the law in life. That is why we cannot pretend to be good. We need to be it.
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