I'll be happy if ___', or 'I'll be happy when ___'. Will you be totally satisfied after your condition is fulfilled.
Are you happy? If not, what is it that you feel you need to be happy? happiness is a state. And, have the ability to access that state at any time we choose.
If you could access happiness anytime you wanted, then you would be doing it.' you will learn could change your life dramatically for the good and forever. Your mind processes information and thinking patterns develop and become semi-permanent.
Most people will think long and hard about changing from their normal behavior. The 'conscious' mind accomplishes its goal of keeping everything the same. By doing so, it supports a continuation of your current beliefs and everything stays the same.
How does this now fit into you being happy? If you believe that you need to have something, do something, or be something to be happy, you'll be right. No matter what happens around you, you're 'conscious' mind will find ways to support your belief that you can't be happy now.
You have to make a conscious decision to change the way you think - not only to thinking, but posture, body language, the emotions, feeling.
Mind is 'spinning' and 'racing'. You teach mind how to control those emotions so that they become positive.
You watch your modal operators. These are words like; should, shouldn't, must, musn't, have to, can't, etc. These words express a necessity, possibility (or lack of), belief, or knowledge that is non-truth-functional; not true in and of themselves. When we put confinements upon ourselves that we 'have' to do something, then we feel forced or coerced and without options. No one feels happy under those circumstances.
When keeping your diary of negative thoughts, add the use of Modal Operators to your tracking. Each time you find yourself telling yourself that you 'have' to do do something, that you 'can't', 'shouldn't', 'must', 'musn't', etc. Decide to choose to do, or not do.
Why add guilt on top of feeling as though there wasn't a choice?! When a person fully realizes that they have options and the power to choose, then they live a much happier life. Once a person learns this then they are already happier and can learn to be happy for no reason.
By this point, they fully realize that they no longer have to, must, should, etc. be something, do something, or have something to be happy. They are now free to be like a child of 4-years-old.
They just are happy. When their friend hurts them, they cry and, five minutes later, they are back playing like nothing happened. They have a curiosity that knows no bounds and they get excited and appreciate the little things.
The beautiful thing is that you can have it by remolding your thoughts and thinking patterns.
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