Do tell your partner you’re friends with an ex
Do let your current boyfriend know that you are friends, or would like to become friends, with your ex. If you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to hide! But if your partner finds out you were spending time with your ex without telling him, he would definitely suspect a foul play.
Don’t become BF’s
In most cases, your ex is not best friend material. This isn’t Seinfeld and you’re not Elaine and Jerry. It’s fine to see your ex casually and occasionally, but he’s likely not going to be the person you immediately call when you need to vent about something, or the person whose surprise birthday party you plan. There are limits to being friends with an ex.
Do tell your partner every time you see your ex
No, you don’t tell your partner every time you see Christina or Tanya or Lana. But your ex is not Christina or Tanya or Lana. It’s different. There’s history there.
Even if your partner knows the general fact that you see your ex sometimes, he’ll still suspect foul play if even one hang out session goes by that he doesn’t know about.
Don’t talk to your ex about problems with your current boyfriend
You can and should tell your ex that you have a new boyfriend. And you should tell him what he is like. But your ex is not the person you should be running to for relationship advice, or even to complain about your current bf.
Your current bf would feel completely disrespected if he found out you were telling your ex about the intimate details of your relationship.
Don’t gloat about your ex
Take it easy on bragging about your ex’s huge successes, or reminiscing on something hysterical he said at lunch. Your current bf is bound to be sensitive about you hanging with your ex, and if you’re too enthusiastic about just how great of a person your ex is, he’ll wonder if you still love him.
Do introduce the ex to the current bf.
Let your current man see how harmless it is that your are friends with an ex by planning a group hangout. He’ll see there’s no chemistry left, and he can finally stop wondering what the “competition” is (it’s not really competition, of course).
Don’t share anything with your ex you’re not sharing with your current bf.
If you’re opening up to your ex about personal details of your life that you’re not telling your partner, sorry to say it, but that’s an emotional affair. Essentially, you’re letting your ex get closer to you than your current man. Your current bf should be one of the first people you’re coming to with personal matters.
Do meet your ex’s new partner
If your ex happens to be dating someone new, make a point to meet her. Your current bf will find it odd if your ex has totally hidden away his new girlfriend and suspect he still has feelings for you.
Don’t set up a double date
You’re going to feel inclined to set up a double date with you, your ex, your man, and your ex’s current girlfriend. But don’t. There’s way too much opportunity for somebody—if not everybody— to feel uncomfortable.
Do diversify hang outs
Don’t just grab drinks one on one all the time with your ex. This could start to look like an emotional affair to your current bf.
Think about it: with your female friends, you go to movies, you go out in groups, you take classes together. It’s not normal to only have intimate hang out dates.
Don’t compare
If you want to be allowed to keep hanging out with your ex, resist any and all urges to compare your current bf to your ex. Even in the heat of a fight, you are not to bring up how your ex treated you better in x, y or z respect. If you do that, you can say goodbye to your nice friendship with your ex. Your partner will just hate him then.
Also do not always talk about your ex with your current bf and if possible keep the contact with your ex as minimum as possible.
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